Father, I am weak and sinful apart from you. I fall and fall again, and I don’t want that kind of life. Grant my heart a right passion for you and grant me your view of my sin that I may repent when it is time to repent and pursue you in purity.
Sin has a revelatory power to it, for perhaps nothing shows the nature of our hearts more than our reaction to our own sin. I have seen men have affairs against their wives and then defend their actions. I have seen children lie to their parents and then boast about it to their friends. In each case, the second sin reveals a heart much worse than the first; for the second sin shows that the cancer has taken over the heart. The second sin shows the real person.
In Jesus’ parable, when the tax collector prayed, he beat his chest and pleaded for mercy. God likes that kind of prayer. But we are uncomfortable with it. We don’t want to get too carried away.
Alan knocked on my apartment door. He was a friend and we often would jog together, but this visit was a surprise. We talked small talk in my living room before I asked, “So, what brings you here?”
He indicated that he needed to talk to me about something and could we go somewhere. We left my apartment and went walking down by the pool and found a picnic table where we sat down. We were the only ones in the area. I asked him again what was up.
With broken speech and great tears, he confessed that he had lost his virginity that week.
Kent attended a large church in San Antonio. He was married but was living with a girlfriend. A couple men and I went to talk to him about his situation, but he saw nothing wrong with his behavior. Eventually he left his wife.
Kent and Alan were different men. Their sins may have been similar, but their responses were not. One was broken-hearted. One was defiant. I reminded Alan of God’s rich forgiveness. I could do no such thing for Kent.
God isn’t looking for people who want to justify their sin. When we have the heart of God, we are broken over our sin.
King David committed adultery and then murder to cover up his adultery, yet he is called a man after God’s own heart. It is not David’s sin that shows this heart. It is his response to it. He wept over it. He knew he had sinned against God. Many may sin as David sinned, but few ever repent as David repented.
I met an old friend a few months ago. We talked in a coffee shop. It had been years since I had seen him, but I felt an immediate bond. As we talked about our families and the things God had been doing with us since the old days, he told me about a parent who had deeply hurt him. His parents had gotten divorced, and his dad had married another woman. My friend said that he harbored anger and bitterness over his dad’s actions and that God had to show him his heart toward his dad and his dad’s new wife. God called my friend to repent of his attitude and treatment of them. He had to change, and he did.
I could relate. I once had to seek forgiveness from my own father for the way I had treated him. Indeed, I have had to repent of attitudes toward bosses, behavior toward workmates, arguments with family members and more. Repentance is central to following God. All who belong to Jesus experience it. Repentance is the proper heart response to sin. It is humility applied to our own sin. Because God is passionate about transforming His people, He insists on calling them to repentance. If you have never had to repent, I wonder if you understand anything about God.
God’s people properly lament their sin. Our hearts hurt when we see the hurt we bring to others. Our hearts hurt when we see the damage we have done to ourselves and to our relationship with God. Our hearts want to change when we see what our hearts really are. This is basic to Christianity. Faith affects our heart relationship with sin.
This world wants us to be comfortable in sin. But the Holy Spirit brings conviction to the heart. God’s people may wrestle with specific sins and fall many times, but we know that this fight is a battle we must wage, for we see the ugliness of our own sin and deeply yearn for the righteousness of God. Repentance comes from a passion for righteousness. When we are comfortable in our sin, we care little about righteousness. God, however, is zealous for it. And so are his people.
Repentance, of course, is bigger than lamenting sin. When Jesus tells people to repent, He is telling them to turn away from sin and to God. Such a turning is more than merely feeling sorry. We can sometimes feel sorry without ever changing. Yet repentance that does not feel anything is not repentance. Repentance must come from the heart. God works from the inside out, and He wants us broken over our sin. Such brokenness makes God glad, for then the potter can take the shards of our souls and recreate in us His image and make us His masterpiece.
